The Male/Female Thing part 1 - Dancing

As a sociologists you can learn about society even while you are learning about something else. For example, this summer I decided to brush up on my country and swing dancing skills. I did so in part because I was tired of going to parties where they played country music and having to sit out the dances. I must say it has been fun although at times it can be frustrating to learn a new skill. I am much more confident with my academic skills than my dancing ones and that is part of the challenge. But daring to try new things can be a topic for another blog.


Now I have to be brutally honest with myself. When it comes to this partner type of dancing, where it is not freestyle, then I am not that great at it. I am getting better. But I am not nearly as good as I would like to be. Part of it is my ignorance of how you are suppose to do things. But I gain more knowledge with every dance. But part of it is my lack of skill in leading the dances. Do not know if that will change any time soon.


Anyone who does country or swing dances knows that this is one of the last areas where men are unashamedly expected to take the lead. Like any good academic I have learned about the patriarchal nature of our society and do not want to be one of those guys that pushes women around. You know. The bad guys. But a lot of taking the lead in dance is just that. More than one woman has complained that I do not push hard enough with my movements and they do not know what to do. A good male dancer has a firm enough "lead" that his female partner knows what he wants and can execute it.


I am working on being firmer with my lead but I know this will take a little time with me. The idea of using my strength to guide a women into doing something can feel like I am forcing a women. And I do not want to do that do I. I mean all of the feminist have talked to me in my head about the horrors of male dominance. Hey. I can blame the feminist for being a bad dancer. Heaven help me if I take blame for myself for not being as good of a dancer as I would like.


If it was just the dancing then that would be one thing. However, I have made other observations while attending the dance classes. You see these classes happen at a night club. And it seems that the guys who are most aggressive in pursuing dance partners are the ones who seem to have none of the soul searching I have about pushing women around on the dance floor. They have no problem with the lead on or off the dance floor. They also seem to be the ones that the females get exited about when they are approached by them whether it is for dancing or just basic social interaction.


Is it possible that dancing is a metaphor for male/female relationships? Despite all of the lessons we have learned lately about egalitarian male/female relationships that men taking a lead is a natural process. Sociologists will say that this is due to social conditioning. There is undoubtedly some truth to that. But we have had a few decades now of challenge to the male dominance paradigm yet in everyday life it still plays out with men expected to take the lead.


Of course I could be wrong. I often am. If dancing and the night club scene is the only place where this happens then we have a limited arena where traditional gender values continue to play themselves out. And I point out that they play themselves out with the full permission and endorsement of the women in that venue. But there is other evidence for the persistence of these traditional values to take into account. However the blog is long right now and so I discuss this other evidence in my next entry. Until then.





Sincerely,





Trouble-Maker